They Don't Call it Hump Day for Nothin'

I remember being of elementary school age (somewhere between 6-10) and sneaking into my Mom's closet to look for a pair of heels. They were red patent, stiletto and symbolized being a "grown up". In my young mind, those shoes signified power, control, freedom...and basically any other adjective under the definition of independent woman. I would place my feet inside each shoe and drag them over to my Trapper Keeper and Kaboodle, which I would pretend was a briefcase, and I imagined when I would become a high-powered executive that would someday take over the world. Everyone thought this was typical considering whenever we played "Store" I would be the boss and when we played "School" I was the teacher...but sometimes life has a different plan.

Maybe to no one's surprise but my own, I forged a different path to independence than I originally set out when I was in 4th grade. It turns out the blueprint I thought was so solid is actually a working draft with continuous edits. The crux of a blank canvas— the amazing privilege to create endless possibilities and yet...those endless possibilities are the root of my analysis paralysis. Now I am by no means complaining about this luxury (all I hear in my head are the hilarious "white/rich people problems" jokes). I feel extremely fortunate to have this problem. BUT now that I've acknowledged this, I can feel better about the next series of over dramatic tangents/statements...

Don't you just hate when you are feeling down about something and the person you tell says something to the effect of, "Well at least you're not starving like the children in Africa." Can I pause for a moment and just ask why people always say Africa? Don't people know there are plenty of starving people (not just children) in America too? Maybe it makes people feel better to say Africa because we are under the assumption that all the deprived citizens in the United States are only without due to their own choices. Either way, responses like this  irk me for a number of reasons. Aside from the statement itself, don't people know saying this doesn't magically make the issue you are complaining about disappear? Doesn't he/she realize all you're looking for is someone to momentarily join your pity party because you can't have a party with just one? Moreover, now you're left with the same emotional shit you started with, but now you're also frustrated that you poured your maybe irrational feelings out to someone who either A) wasn't listening, B) was listening and doesn't care and/or is uncomfortable with anything that doesn't have the word "happy in it or C) thinks your fortunate ass isn't entitled to complain about anything when they in fact have real problems you're not helping them find a solution to. Everyone has someone like this in their life, but I wonder why we keep going to those people and expecting different results; after all that IS the definition of insanity.

Regardless, the caliber of MY problem can only be measured by MY own feelings about MY situation. Contrary to popular belief I don't think misery loves company, but misery would sure like compassion to be his/her bestie every now and again. Sometimes you just need compassion to come and help you stick your head out of that murky bubble to expose the beautiful sunny skies you're missing out on—and to show you when you're ready, the sun will still be there. 

Now back to the blank canvas, "What is my life purpose/passion/calling/(insert any other life directive adjective)". As a person who likes to make a plan and then execute it in the most efficient way possible, I suspect I will need to make some modifications and take a different approach on this one. I place a lot of stock in the belief that we all have A LOT of things we're meant to do and there's no use in pushing it because they won't come all at once. In due time, each will manifest themselves at the appropriate points on our journey. I can't deny that patience isn't a bitch and I don't expect to figure it all out today, but let's stop hitting replay on the same bad movie because we're not meant for a colorless existence. I am grateful and honored for all the opportunities that come my way and I embrace them all, good and bad, because they enrich the woman I continue to work on becoming.  

Happy Hump Day!

Hitched—Now What?

As you all know who have read the past posts, I've been diligently working to "Be present one day at a time", however why does it seem like the people in and around us are always pushing our minds away from right now and depriving us of the bliss that living in the moment brings?  When hubby and I reached the 1 year anniversary marker everyone started asking, "When are you getting engaged?"  Then when we got engaged, the new question was, "When are you getting married?"  NOW that we're married it's, "When are you having children?" Yikes people—whatever happen to the simple old fashioned, "How are you doing today?"

We are leaving for Italy in T-minus 6 days and aside from the grotesque amounts of gelato and pasta I will be consuming, I will most enjoy a place where the popularity of "You snooze, you lose" will be trumped by "La dolce vita"(the good life) & "Il dolce farniente" (the sweetness of doing nothing).  I hope the euphoric relaxation will carry back over to the homeland when I begin to plot out my next quest to set out and conquer.  I would like to meet the originator of the motto that Californians live a laid back lifestyle—he/she must have only met the hippies in OB where half drive the tie-dye vans that smell of Mary Jane while the other half search for nickels in the sand.  Then again, maybe the peace loving activists of the 60's have had it right all along and it's the simple things in life that make living in the present so momentous. I mean Carrie's relationship with Berger was almost compromised over a scrunchy so maybe the smallest of details really DO make all the difference.

This makes me think I should read "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff--and it's all small stuff" by Richard Carlson on the flight over.  I will have 16 hours to kill after all... 

 

Superwomen's Club - Now Accepting New Members

A dear friend of mine has put together an action plan to move her life forward.  Another woman I consider to be a bright light in my life told me something I wrote in my last post inspired her to see a piece of her situation differently.  At times when I feel like the walls of my existence are caving in due to my indecision and confusion, the proverbial phrase, "Shit or get off the pot" often enters my thoughts.  I feel extremely lucky to have such amazing women in my life to assist me with my—well "shitting" to put it frankly. 

A more refined idiom (and by refined I mean a saying not found in Urban Dictionary), "Two heads are better than one" is perhaps the most fitting to speak to the subject at hand.  While I will never minimize the amazing graces of the most intelligent and beautiful male souls, the strength women possess when we harness our power brings unlimited potential for personal growth and discovery.

The superwoman living inside that envelopes our livelihood and vitality sometimes fails to see that life is not our nemesis, but our partner in crime.  Our hero status gets overpowered thinking life is our antagonist because the law of inertia states it's just easier to stay in motion once things are set into movement; going against the current takes resilience and fervent dedication.  In the face of complete destruction to whatever current path, the brevity to change directions is what fuels the fire in the belly of all superwomen. 

So to all of my fellow ladies who are reading this and want to make a change, who are you going to be today and moving forward?  Powerful or powerless?  There's no better time than the present to unleash your "super"!

AK says it best :) http://youtu.be/-AphKUK8twg

Today I am wise

I've always said I love event planning. Let me just say I MUST because I have become an expert at throwing myself some grandiose pity parties! Like most mornings after a full night of "partying" you wake up hungover, nauseous and often regretful of the things that happened just hours prior. Today is different...in this instance, a huge plate of Mexican goodness is not going to quell things. What's sobering me up today is wising up.

The statement that our hearts and our minds don't often agree seems to be a truth told by many. After all, we're taught from the time we can comprehend spoken language, that what is logical isn't always what we may want to do...but it's the "right thing". While I don't know who first said this to me, I placed this cute ditty in my Life Lessons catalog where it grew to be very influential in the development of my ego and my pride. Today I have dutifully removed that mantra and replaced it with this; The logical thing to do is to ALWAYS follow your heart.

I've recently come to realize the bridge that connects listening and actually learning has been broken and fractured. Like everything else, it's nonsensical to think that we don't need a rejuvenation and complete overhaul of ourselves when things get stale and weary. Today I understand that when I think my mind and my heart are disconnected, it's fear that's coming between the two. I have taken the figurative mind and body too literally because they are one in the same. All too often we allow negativity to be more powerful and trump all the positive energy flowing in and around us. Without a doubt, when you allow fear in, it is tenacious, strong and unyielding. BUT...the cumulative effect of laughter, love and elation is the most "thrilling peace"— it's contagious and intoxicating and most important is we all deserve it and are worthy. Today I'm not shying away from fear, I'm embracing it and allowing myself to accept that it's ok to be afraid so I can finally take my power back!

A planner by nature, I have put together the simplest one yet;

BE PRESENT ONE DAY AT A TIME.